


Gone but not forgotten

by limitlxss



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, Fluff, Hurt Bellamy Blake, Memories, POV Bellamy Blake, POV Clarke Griffin, Protective Bellamy Blake, Void Bell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 11:54:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24849337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/limitlxss/pseuds/limitlxss
Summary: Thousands of pictures flooded into the hologram, crowding one on top of the other. Through the blurry haze Bellamy saw her. He saw her on the ladder in the drop ship, he saw her in mount weather, hand on the lever, eyes full of tears staring up at him... togetherAfter spending many excruciating hours trapped in the chair in M-cap the disciples realise he could be a much more useful weapon.Meanwhile Clarke is fighting for her life on a daring mission to rescue him.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes
Comments: 37
Kudos: 118





	1. Chapter 1

Bellamy’s thoughts where loud. They spoke to him, whispers of his past and flashes of the future. But he didn’t remember anything, his head throbbed and his body was stiff.  
Struggling to open his eyes, Bellamy tried to move his body, but he couldn’t. 

He felt numb, almost disconnected from his brain , but he could feel the loud thud of his heart thumping violently in his chest. 

that sounded familiar.

He tugged at his thoughts, head and the heart? He questioned silently, those words sounded heavy, familiar and almost comforting. Then all of a sudden thousands memories rushed back to him, filling him up as they played one by one in side his head. 

the heart and the head.

Clarke. 

Bellamy’s eyes snapped open, his head roared with memories of Clarke, where was she? was she okay?  
His thoughts swam in confusion... where the hell was he?? 

His eyes darted around the room, the blur fading away and revealing pure white walls surrounding him from all sides in a perfect circle. 

Anxiously he struggled against the force securely trapping his arms against something.  
Bellamy looked down, and his eyes widened with fear. 

His body was strapped rigidly in a huge white chair. A ring of metal pressed harshly against his forehead and a thick metal needle hung directly in front of him, a couple of inches away from his face.

Bellamy struggled in the chair, forcing his torso upwards with his arms but to no avail. He tried again, this time harder as he let out a small grunt of frustration. 

“stay still Mr Blake”  
The voice startled him and Bellamy’s head whipped around and smacked against the white band holding him down. Who was that?  
The voice spoke again “try not to struggle”. A man cloaked in white walked into his view.  
He wore something that reminded of him a wedding gown. All white and floor length, accompanied with pale skin and slick brown hair, Bellamy wasn’t quite sure if he was real.

“Who are you?” Bellamy asked stiffly, still struggling against the restraints. 

“my name is Levitt” the man replied calmly, staring at the clearly distressed Bellamy.  
“where the hell am I?” Bellamy gritted out.

“You are on Bardo” Levitt replied.  
“what-?”  
But Levitt interrupted before Bellamy could ask anymore questions.  
“now that you’re awake we can start the procedure”  
Panic flared violently in Bellamy’s eyes. He struggled once again against the restraints. What the fuck where they gonna do to him?  
“there is nothing to be afraid of, as long as you cooperate” Levitt said in his calm, almost programmed voice.

Bellamy continued to violently twist and turn in the chair, he had never been one for cooperation.  
He had to get out. He had to get to Octavia, to Clarke. 

3 white lights appeared on his forehead, illuminating his freckles smattered across his face, they where warm and uncomfortable, sending a glare into his eyes which made him squint. 

Levitt walked over to him, unbothered by Bellamy writhing in the chair.  
“let’s try this path, you’re in an endless desert with a purple sky”  
The image began to paint itself into Bellamy’s mind, the words Levitt said became perfect on an imaginary canvas.  
“a hand reaches out to you...”  
An arm with an outstretched hand appeared in Bellamy’s mind. A hand that he had longed for years, a hand which belonged to a body that he had mourned for, cried over.  
“who’s is it” 

Clarke. 

Bellamy saw her in his mind. Glowing, her smile widening as his hand extended to meet hers.  
He almost forgot where he was as a rush of emotion swept over him, enveloping Bellamy like one of her long comforting hugs. 

“Clarke Griffin, it’s her!” Levit called out to the other man in white. Suddenly a huge blue hologram spread out across the wall, Clarke’s face appeared everywhere, but they weren’t pictures. They where moments, memories. His memories. 

“what the hell are you doing” snarled Bellamy through gritted teeth, glaring at the holograms.

But levitt didn’t reply, he walked over and joined the other man in front of the screen.  
“it’s her, I told you... she is the key”

It was then that Bellamy realised what he had done. They where taking his memories, extracting information about Clarke. His Clarke. 

Panic coursed though his body. He needed to protect her. He couldn’t let them have anything else.  
Bellamy squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to block out any thoughts of her.

“Hey! Mr Blake please relax”

Bellamy didn’t respond, it was obviously working, he thought of his mom, his time on the ark before he had even heard about Clarke Griffin. 

“we are so close, dial up the frequency” the other man said, a tone of hostility in his voice.  
“But sir it could damage-“  
“do it” 

The hairs on Bellamy’s neck stood up and he braced himself for what was going to come next. Suddenly a high pitch squeal erupted from the ominous grey needle in front of him, and he felt the warmth on his forehead intensify into an ache and then to a low throb.

Bellamy clenched his jaw, and squeezed his eyes shut even harder. He couldn’t let them get any more information, he needed to protect Clarke. 

He gasped in pain, trying against all odds to give nothing away. He thought of the nights he spent on the ark starting out the window, longing to go to earth, and the long monotonous walk back from guard training- imagining how different his life would be if he was born somewhere else, as one of the privileged. 

He thought about playing with Octavia, the shrieks of excitement she let out, when he gave her pony rides, and the beaming smiles from his mother when she saw them playing so happily together.

“Up the frequency, we are almost in” he heard the man yell across to Levitt. 

Sweat rolled down Bellamy’s face, and he panted heavily, gasping for air. Again he concentrated on the window... staring down at earth, but this time it was different.  
This time he stared at the one patch of green surrounded by the vast brown wasteland.  
This time he was on the ring, longing for Clarke.

Bellamy winced, shifting his focus back to Octavia and praying they didn’t detect his slip up. But they did.

New pictures crowded the hologram, his memories . A tear slid silently down his face in frustration, no no no no.

Come on. Please no, he thought. 

Bellamy fought violently against the chair, praying for escape as his battled against the machine stealing all he had left of Clarke.

Suddenly Bellamy caved, exhausted, the splitting pain took over, crashing onto him in waves. Sobs wracked his body and he shook violently in the chair, sinking into defeat.

Thousands of pictures flooded into the hologram, crowding one on top of the other. Through the haze of tears Bellamy saw her. He saw her on the ladder in the drop ship, he saw her in mount weather, hand on the lever, eyes full of tears staring up at him... together. 

He saw her risking her life in the city of light, holding his hand and she saved them all once again. 

He saw her collapse in sobs of tears as she threatened to shoot him, he saw her running through the snow in the hazmat suit, and the deep stab of regret as he shut the door and left her on earth to die. 

He saw her weak body on the floor as he bargained for her life, he felt her warmth and the tears they shared as they reunited. 

The pit of betrayal he felt as she put Madi before him, and the comfort he found in her as they discovered their new home. 

Bellamy gasped for air as tears rushed down his face, he remembered tearing Josephines room apart as his world collapsed all around him, and the breathless joy of her eyes fluttering open after he screamed over her body in Gabriel’s tent.

Levitt walked over to him and placed his arm on Bellamy’s. He jolted away. Tears still gushing from his eyes.  
Levitt looked at him, this time with pity and sorrow at the broken man in the chair.  
“I’m so sorry” Levitt whispered.


	2. find him

Clarke steadied her shaky breathing as she marched in time with her jump team, praying they wouldn’t notice who she was despite the identical claustrophobic suit she was disguised in.  
She looked over anxiously at Raven and even though all she could see was the orange glint of her helmet, Clarke could tell she was scared too.  
Only minutes ago Clarke and Raven where on Nakara, huddled together for warmth as they waited for Jordan and Miller to meet them in the dark cave. But they never came, and as the stone glowed, signalling it was ready for transmission, there was no time to wait. 

Strickening guilt consumed Clarke and her body felt like it had fallen into a bottomless pit of shame. She left her friends, she left miller she left Nyla, she left Jordan, the child she swore her friend that she would protect.

But it was too late now, Clarke held back her tears as she marched side by side with Raven along the winding corridors of Bardo. It reminded her strangely of the ark, just newer, not as dark and without the constant drone of machine noise always drilling into her brain.

Suddenly Raven tapped her subtly on the shoulder and pointed to a grey sign, illuminated in a faint orange glow. 

‘PRISONERS’

Adrenaline pumped through her body and she turned her mind back to the task at hand, she may have left some friends behind on Nakara, but now she had a chance to get the others back. To get Bellamy back.

Clarke and Raven silently peeled off from the rest of the group and started walking down the endless corridor of prison cells.  
‘How are we gonna know which one they’re in” Raven questioned, ‘this place is huge’ checking each cell door as the numbers decreased. 1390, 1389, 1388….

Clarke shook her head. ‘We’ll figure it out’ 

She had to.


	3. what do I need to do?

Bellamy didn’t know why Levit had apologised to him, he was too upset to think, his only thought was what going to happen to Clarke.  
He failed.  
He let them get to him, he put her in danger yet again and there was nothing he could do now. 

He lay motionless, exhausted and numb in the chair.  
Bellamy didn’t know how long he lay there, under his mountain of grief. But the voices of Levitt and many other disciples came and went, some fussed with the machine and the chair, most of them walked past, barely even noticing him. 

After a while Levitt approached Bellamy once again, he gently took off the head gear, loosened the many ties holding him down and helped him to his feet.  
With one arm around his broad shoulders Levitt and Bellamy stumbled uncomfortably across and out of the room.

“We are transferring you to your cell now” he said in his steady voice as the opened the door which lead onto an endless maze of corridors. 

Bellamy nodded weakly, he was too exhausted to say much more and his feet dragged helplessly across the ground.  
They walked silently for a minute and then suddenly Levitt made a sharp turn, thrusting Bellamy hurriedly around a corner and into a room that was concealed from the main hallway.

He pressed Bellamy up against the wall as a look of panic crossed Levitt’s pale complexion, as Bellamy stared back at him, panic also flaring in his eyes. 

“Bellamy...” Levitt began hurriedly.  
“Clarke is in danger, they have all the information they need about her and-“ he paused, and stared at Bellamy. Who’s eyes once again filled with tears and desperation.

Levitt gulped and took a deep breath before continuing.  
“Bellamy they are going to use you.. they’re gonna use you.. to get to her. But you won’t be yourself, they have full control of you, of your thoughts and-”. 

“What-“ Bellamy said interrupted weakly. 

“We have to get you out of here, I’ll do the same thing that I did to Hope-” Replied Levitt. 

“Wait a second” Bellamy said, strength coming back into his voice as he stood up without support.  
‘Why do they want Clarke? What the hell going on?’

“It’s complicated” said Levitt after a short pause. “But we can’t let them get to her, that’s why we need to get you to the lab... I’ve done this before just trust me.”

“Trust you?” Bellamy replied aggressively.  
“An hour ago I was strapped in a chair while you tortured me” 

“I’m sorry” Levitt said quietly. “But this is how we save Clarke”

Bellamy paused for a moment before nodding.  
“What do I need to do?”


	4. I need her

‘Are you sure?!’ Bellamy asked Levitt worriedly, clutching his arm.

‘Yes’ said Levitt hurriedly ‘its the only way it will survive the jump’.

Bellamy gulped anxiously, not particularly wanting Levitt to put a note into his arm that he may never even remember, but realistically what other choice did he have? 

He had to get off this planet, he couldn’t let the disciples turn him into a weapon.

‘What does the note say?’ Bellamy asked curiously.

‘its instructions on what to do after you get out from the anomaly..and what to do if you get caught’ Levitt replied. 

‘Can I read it?’ Bellamy said hopefully.

‘There is no point, you’ll forget everything about this place when you jump through’  
Bellamy shook his head a little, in confusion

“Roll up your sleeve’ said Levitt, holding a little purple tube between his fingers.

Bellamy hesitated but pushed up his jumper and held his arm out to Levitt. His body tensed as Levitt began working, hurriedly pushing the tube containing the note under Bellamy skin, he let out a small grunt but squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on Clarke. He remembered her warmth as they ran to each other, the sun gently rising over sanctum, and tears she shed into his jacket as they held each other. He wondered when he would see her again, whether the disciples had already got to her… if she was alive.  
She had to be. 

‘All done’ Levitt said with a quick smile as he wiped the blood from Bellamy’s arm. ‘we need to go… now’ 

Bellamy nodded, slid off the chair, clutching his arm and followed Levitt out of the small room. The two of them backed slowly out onto the grey corridor, Bellamy gripping a small knife Levitt had given him.

They crept as quietly as the could down the vast hallway, past the prison cells and towards the stone room.  
Everything was deadly silent, cloaked in quiet. Too quiet.  
Levitt stopped dead in his tracks, and craned his neck, listening for any noise. 

Bellamy waited, crouched down beside him , still clutching the knife in anticipation. 

Suddenly, a deafening sound split the air, making the 2 men jump in surprise as bright orange lights flashed and a siren wailed. 

‘All units to level 5 immediately’

A voice crackled over the radio and Levitt stood up, stricken with panic. 

‘Leviit!’ Bellamy hissed from behind him. ‘Levitt what’s going on’ he whispered urgently. 

Levitt was even paler than before, his face shaded with a new grey tone.

‘She’s here’

Bellamy didn’t even need to hear her name, he knew immediately.

‘We need to get to her’ he said, raising his voice in panic as he broke out from their formation and rushed across the corridor towards the elevator. 

‘No’ Levitt said as he ran after Bellamy, grabbing his sleeve and pulling him back.  
‘No- its too dangerous, you need to get out of here’ he said, a hint of sadness in his usually emotionless voice. 

Bellamy whipped around to face Levitt, his face red with panic.  
‘i have to get to her’ 

The sudden intensity of Bellamy’s emotions made Levitt almost stumble back. 

‘Bellamy.. they’ll capture you, torture you, turn you into one the-‘

‘I NEED HER’ Bellamy shouted over the defending wail of the alarm. 

‘Please- just let me get to her’ he said as his voice cracked and tears began to form in his eyes once again.

Levitt nodded silently, watching as the orange lights danced over Bellamy’s determined face,  
‘Okay..but i’m coming with you’ 

Bellamy smiled weakly at him ‘How do we do it?’

‘Two floors down and we should be right on top of her’ Levitt said, excitement sparking in his voice as he hopped into the elevator, closely followed by Bellamy.


	5. He has to be here

Clarke walked hopelessly along the corridor, raising up on her toes and peering in each small window, hoping to Bellamy, Octavia or even Echo.  
Most of the rooms where empty, only in habited by a small white cot and a grey sink. Only a few had inmates, dressed head to foot in immaculate white clothing, curled up on the cot.  
‘What the hell are the doing to them?’ Raven whispered, her face contorted with concern as she turned to Clarke.  
But Clarke didn’t have an answer.  
Judging by the scars on their body, their pale faces and sweat drenched hair, it looked like some form of torture, but Clarke didn’t want to think about that.

The Blakes where strong but she couldn’t bare to think about them tied down, screaming in pain… especially Bellamy. 

‘Oh my god.. Clarke come here!!’ Raven half whispered, half shouted across the hall way to her. Clarke shook the horrible thought from her head and ran over to Raven who stood peering into one of the cells.

She took off her helmet and followed Ravens gaze into yet another empty room, except it wasn’t quite empty. 

Above the head of the cot were two little words and underneath a small blue hologram which flickered in the dim light.  
Clarke stared numbly at the hologram, at a face she knew too well. 

It was Bellamy.

Clarkes mouth fell open in shock, and her emotions rose up like a wave inside of her, smothering everything apart from the soft memories of Bellamy imbedded in her mind. She felt Ravens hand on her shoulder and a tear slid silently down Clarke’s soft skin. 

‘We will find him’ Raven said softly, looking at Clarke with eyes full of empathy. She knew how much Bellamy and Clarke meant to each other, and that they would stop at nothing to find each other again.

Clarke stood, hand on the glass of the window, staring at the flickering hologram as if it was all she had left.  
‘He has to be here somewhere’ Clarke said tearfully, turning back to Raven. Who nodded in agreement. 

Suddenly they heard a shout erupt from a room a few meters away, the two of them froze for a second, desperately looking at each other for answers, before running towards the sound.  
This room was different, a harsh white light pouring from the small window. 

‘M-CAP’ Raven read out to herself before glancing in the door. 

The room was perfectly circular, with a huge white chair in the centre. 4 men in long white gowns stood around it, they where arguing, their muffled voices barely audible but their vigorous hand gestures and intense glares told the whole story. 

‘hey’ interrupted Clarke, pushing Raven swiftly back against the wall ‘we cant let them see us!!’  
But it was too late 

One of men in the white suits was staring straight at them.


	6. Silent darkness

‘RAVEN, RUN’ Clarke yelled. 

The two of them broke into sprint, bolting back down the long line cells.  
Their footsteps echoed loudly as they got to the end, skidding around the corner. 

For a minute Clarke thought they had got away unseen but to her horror, as she turned the corner she was met with an impenetrable wall of soldiers.

They were running, clutching huge black guns in their arms, closing in on them as they tore up the corridor.  
Clarke skidded to a sudden stop and careered off in the other direction, only to be met by another group of grey suits coming towards her, the thunder of their foot steps bouncing violently off the walls.

Raven reached for her gun as she limped around the corner, panting in agony as she met her friends desperate gaze.

Clarke froze in fear, heart thumping loudly, her eyes darting between the two groups of soldiers. 

There was no escape.

They where trapped…  
Almost.

There was only one way out of here.

In the corner of her eye Clarke saw a flash of yellow from a control panel imbedded in the wall... the elevator. 

As quick as she could, Clarke whipped around, grabbing raven and pulling her towards the concealed doors. She punched the buttons and as the doors began to open, she forced herself and her friend through.

The soldiers where on their heels now, running at full speed towards them.  
“GO, GO, GO” Clarke yelled to Raven, pushing herself in front of her and drawing her gun as the doors slid closed again, just in time.

Bullets sprayed the thick metal as they clicked shut, leaving thousands of small indentations and creating a deafening noise that made Raven let out a little shriek.

They barely had time to take a breath when another ear-splitting noise punched their ears. 

Bright orange lights flashed, vividly reflecting around the small elevator as an alarm blared.

‘all units to level 5’ 

A voice crackled over the intercom. 

Clarke looked franticly at the control panel and to her horror, saw the numbers slowly ticking down to level 5. She rushed over and began punching other buttons but it was too late. 7… 6… 

‘We’ll have to fight our way out’. Said Clarke, mustering some determination in her voice as she stepped back to join Raven. Both of them raised their guns at the door, bracing for the chaos as they opened.   
‘We got this’ Raven said in a cocky voice as she nodded to herself reassuringly.

The two of them waited in anticipation as the lift slowed down and the number rolled down to 5. Clarke adjusted her grip on the small pistol as the doors began to open….

She squinted into the black that lay behind them and strained her ears. 

But all that lay before them was silent darkness.

She looked back at Raven, both of them sharing the same confused expression.  
The elevator creaked as Clarke took a tentative step forward, her gun still raised, ready for attack.

But there was no one there, no one waiting to ambush them.   
The opposite of chaos. 

Nothing.  
Just black, with one flickering light which periodically lit the large corridor. 

Clarke took another step, Raven following closely behind, peering around the side of the doors.  
Still no one. 

Maybe they had got here before them? 

She relaxed for a second, letting her shoulders drop and her breathing slow.

But then out of the darknesss erupted a desperate cry.   
A shout which made the hair stand on her skin, and her eyes widen in terror. 

A shout that brought back so many memories, so many emotions so much pain and love.

She saw him almost in slow motion as he rounded the corner, curly hair flopping over his face as the air rushed through it and his brown eyes frantically searching for her. 

Clarke shook her head violently, making sure she wasn’t dreaming.

But no. 

He was there, running towards her.

‘BELLAM-‘ she began to yell.

‘CLARKE RUN, ITS A TRAP’ Bellamy bellowed at the top his lungs, through heavy pants of exhaustion.   
Clarke barely had time to process what he had said before the one dimly flickering light went out with a small pop, drowning them in a new, more sinister gloom. 

Silence choked the room, only broken by the sound of Bellamy’s foot steps and the faint clang of light metal against the floor. 

Clarke spun around to face the new sound, she strained her eyes intently, desperately staring through the pitch black.  
A hissing sound erupted from the corner and Clarke instantly realised what was happening. 

Horrible flashbacks crowed her mind, the hot, red lazar dot on her forehead outside the dropship, the sinister music that lead her to a model circus in Arkadia, the red sun toxin. 

“ITS GAS, RUN” she screamed.

Clarke dived away from the hissing noise, stumbling in the darkness, searched for her friends but she couldn’t escape the dense fog that gagged her lungs. 

She heard Raven shriek as she tried to catch her breath, only inhaling more of the invisible smoke.   
Her eyes stung as she rushed forward, searching blindly for Bellamy, but tumbled over her own weight as nausea took over and she lost her balance.

As she fell the dim light flickered on again, and light spilled onto the dreadful scene.

Through her distorted vision she saw the bodies of Bellamy and Raven lying twisted and motionless on the grey concrete a few feet away from her, as light white gas floated up toward the ceiling. 

Clarke’s heavy body hit the floor with a crash, eyes rolling back into her head as she passed out.


	7. what the hell are you doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some parts of this chapter where inspired by eyesharpweaponshot :)

Bellamy woke up in the M-cap chair again, the now familiar white strap holding him down, and the metal halo circling his head. But this time it took only seconds for Bellamy to remember how he got there.  
He remembered hearing Clarke’s scream pierce the air, sending shivers down his spine as he ran towards her.  
The panic painted plainly on her elegant face as they plunged into darkness.  
And the the frantic scramble and distant shouts as the gas poured in.

He craned his neck to look around, no one was here with him this time, no Levitt. An eery silence fell awkwardly over the room but all Bellamy could think about was how he could get back to Clarke.

He needed to find her, check she was okay, It was almost as if Clarke’s presence hung in the air, she had been here, he was sure of it.  
Last time he lay in this chair he put her life in danger.. this time he had to save it. 

Bellamy didn’t know how long he sat there, tugging aggressively at the straps but it was no use. Eventually he lay back, letting exhaustion consume him, his hands where raw and his neck throbbed painfully.  
He would just have to wait for an opportunity to escape, take the guards by surprise and get out unseen.

Even though he knew exactly where he was, Bellamy felt lost. His mind wandered aimlessly but every time he came back to Clarke. He tried to shake the throbbing panic but it’s hard when his head was gone.  
His heart felt unbalanced with out her, almost out of control. 

A few more uncomfortable minutes passed before he heard 2 hushed voices coming from the door.

‘im telling you- we need him to get to Clarke’  
‘but sir-‘  
‘that’s on order Mr Levitt’ 

Bellamy didn’t hear anything else, he blinked hard and adrenaline pumped through his veins and he felt alive again, as if someone had just sent a bolt of electricity into his chest. 

What the hell where they gonna do to him now?

Was this what Levitt said would happen??

Panic bubbled up inside him along with millions of unanswerable questions, as he strained his ears desperately for more information, anything he could use. But all he heard where muffled footsteps approaching from behind him. 

Frantically he tried to twist his head around to see who it was but before he could, Bellamy felt a strong hand pinning him forcefully against the chair, cold fingers almost wrapping around the side of his head, and then the sharp sting of a needle in his neck.  
‘HEY’  
‘LET ME GO’

Bellamy snarled as he began to struggle angrily once again, glaring at the man in another clinical white suit as he retreated slowly, and arching his back off the chair in any attempt to escape. 

What the hell did they just do to him?  
His vision blurred as the unnatural cold ache from the needle spread across his neck.

No matter how hard he struggled, he couldn’t fight this, the fight drained slowly out of him, and as Bellamy slipped back into familiar un-conciseness, he held onto his precious memories of Clarke. 

His Clarke. His princess.

And as his eyes fluttered closed he longed for the day he could hug her and tell her-

Bellamy’s body fell limp and his head rolled back round as he blacked out.


	8. he was her home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is sad i'm sorry :(

Clarke shivered.   
She couldn’t even begin process what had just happened, it was like all her nightmares in one. The demons that haunted her when she slept and consumed her thoughts in day.

She had managed to loose everyone. 

“Clarke Griffin doesn’t break’ she scoffed bitterly, although she wished it were true as a solitary tear rolled down her cheek.

She sat, back against the cold wall, in the corner of her small cell. She had become one of the prisoners her and raven watched like animals in a zoo, just hours ago.

Raven- the lump in Clarke’s throat rose and tears clawed at her eyes.   
It was her fault she was here, her fault Raven was now a prisoner just like her, Clarke had dragged her to bardo in search of the others, and managed to loose all of them.   
She had managed to loose-

Clarke tried to block the thought, as if it was too painful to even think about. But it was no use. The image of him tore through her mind, his soft curls and kind hazel eyes all clear as day in her memory.  
His shout as he ran towards her, the desperation set in his eyes. And their beautiful moment of eye contact, when the world stopped turning and the only thing she new was him.

She had managed to loose Bellamy.

Guilt consumed Clarke and she pulled her knees tight to her chest, her breathing quickened and she began to sob.   
Tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face as her jaw trembled.

She brought her hands to her face in attempt to block the emotions but piece by piece, she felt her soul fall apart. 

Clarke Griffin doesn’t break.

She repeated to herself in an attempt to pull herself together but her shaking voice was hardly convincing, and for the first time in years, she let herself cry. 

There was a rawness to it, more than just tears fell from Clarke that night. Fragile pieces of her soul, the small things the held her together.   
Memories that comforted her in her darkest hours and her shoulders heaved with emotion as she remembered them. 

The comfort that wrapped around her as she pulled her mom into a tight hug as she left the bunker.   
‘be careful’ she had said to her, little did Clarke know that she would spend 6 long years without her, without saying goodbye.   
And now she was gone, and it was all Clarke’s fault.   
The painful memory of her moms body being sucked out the airlock as she pulled the lever, replaying in her mind.

Then there was Madi- her child.   
A child that would have to loose a mom for the third time. Clarke’s dark lashes brimmed with heavy tears as she thought of Madi.   
The day she led Clarke into that bear trap, all the way to picking berries in the forests of shallow valley.   
She thought of Gaia kneeling down beside her. and telling her Clarke, Bellamy and everyone else she cared about was gone. 

Bellamy- Clarke bit her tongue, trying to suppress the new wave of emotion welling up inside of her.   
He was the only person that had always been there for her, his warm, consoling hugs, comforting her both times she had lost her mom.   
He had made her understand that home wasn’t a place, it was a person.

He was her home- and now he was gone.

Clarke lay curled up on the damp floor until her eyes where puffy and red, and her throat burned.  
Complete hopelessness took over her as she ran out of tears, her body felt weaker than ever before as she lay there numb.


	9. the man she knew

Clarke barely noticed as footsteps approached and key turned with a slow click in her door.  
As it swung open she lifted her head weakly to see who it was, squinting through the streams of harsh light now spilling into the cell.  
A man in white stood silhouetted in the dark doorway, his figure sent a dark shadows spralling over her and made Clarke raise her head a little more. 

As she watched, the man stepped aside without a word, revealing an even darker figure.  
Clarke felt her stomach plummet in shock as she realised who it was.  
Broad shoulders and dressed head to toe in immaculate black, which melted smoothly in with his soft chestnut skin tone.  
Her eyes glossed over with welcome tears and her heart swelled with compassion as she saw the freckles coating his body and loose curls swept back behind his ears in a tidy fashion, very unlike him.  
Very unlike the Bellamy she just hours ago. 

She rose shakily, her heart aching, wanting nothing more to run into his arms but he looked so broken, so fragile, and she didn’t want to give any clues to the 3 guards standing in the doorway. 

With a swift nod from the guard closest to her, the men in white suits walked out of the room, shutting the door and leaving her and Bellamy in an unnatural silence.

Clarke looked at him, he stood perfectly still, his shoulders hunched over awkwardly as he stared intensely at the ground. 

She hesitated for a beat, studying him carefully like he was the first human she had ever seen, before she threw her arms passionately around his neck, clinging onto his body. She slowly pulled him closer, her fingers curling around the hem of his loose t-shirt, expecting his strong arms to scoop her up, carrying her away to a place of only bitter happiness. But they never did.

Bellamy stood there almost motionless, with no reaction to Clarke at all.  
She pulled back and anxiously stared up at him, eyes widening, her hand reached up to cup his chin, wanting to raise his head and look into his eyes.  
But as her hand made contact with his soft skin, he flinched backwards and his cold hand grabbed her small wrist.  
Clarke could feel the sudden brittle tension in the air, it felt crisp and harsh, like sandpaper against her skin. 

They froze for another minute, Bellamy still looking at the ground and Clarke looking only at the complete stranger standing in front of her. 

This wasn’t the man she knew.

‘Bellamy?’ She whispered softly, leaning forward and trying to tug her arm away.

But as she freed it from his strong grip, he grabbed her shoulders, striding across the room and before Clarke could defend her self, and shoved her forcefully against the wall.

‘BELLAMY WHAT THE-‘

She tried the scream but his other hand reached up to warp around her neck, choking her.  
Their eyes locked and this time, it was a look of anger that in-paled Clarke, her body fighting for freedom and her mind racing, faster than she could even comprehend. 

This wasn’t her Bellamy.

The muscles in his neck popped as he pushed her harder, and Clarke began to cough desperately. 

He was hurting her.  
Why was he trying to hurt her?  
What had they done to him?

Who was he? 

Questions anxiously burned into Clarke’s mind leaving unconnected trails like burning astroids and the lump in her throat rose rapidly.

Tears she didn't think she had left rose up and began to burn in Clarke's eyes. This wasn't the salvation she had prayed for, this wasn’t the same man she relied on, who spent 6 years waiting for, who she had watched fall apart at the news of her death, and wouldn’t stop until he got her back. 

She jabbed him in the chest with an unexpected sharp kick which sent Bellamy’s unnatural figure flying backwards, slamming into the cot.

Clarkes hand rushed to her already sore neck and she stared in horror Bellamy got back onto his feet and ran at her once again.

This time Clarke was prepared, dodging to the side, twisting around and kicking him in the knee, where was still weak from the knife Clarke put in him, in the red sun. 

He yelped in pain, and Clarke winced as the distressing sound rippled across her body. Bellamy stumbled backwards, this time all the way to the floor, smacking his head on the concrete as he fell. 

Clarke watched in shock as he got angrier, whipping around and staring at her like the enemy, baring his teeth, snarling like a caged dog, ready to attack. Blood starting to seep from a cut in his eyebrow, but he didn’t seem to care.

Was he being controlled?  
What the hell is going on? thought Clarke, desperately wracking her brain for any kind of explanation. 

‘Bell what the hell are you doing?!’ Clarke yelled, the fear manipulating her voice as she backed up against the wall.

“I’m protecting us... wanheda, from you” he spat.  
“What?” Clarke whispered, her face contorting with hurt and confusion as the words tore through her.

She closed her eyes  
It’s not really him  
It’s not really him  
It’s not really him

She repeated despairingly in her mind, clinging onto the hope that she would open her eyes and she would be in his arms, as a tear snaked it's away down her cheek. 

“People die, when your in charge” he snarled back at her, his eyes locked directly onto the crystal blue that lay deep in Clarke’s as she opened them hesitantly. 

Those words sounded unnatural In his mouth, and Clarke didn’t feel a stab of hurt like the other times he hurled those words at her. 

“and this time you die, not me”  
“BELLAMY PLEA-

But it wasn’t Bellamy talking anymore, his deep aggressive voice rang in Clarke’s ears and sent shivers all over her body. Anger radiated from Bellamy as he curled his body slowly back up to standing, shifting his weight ready to fight again, the half light illuminating his face, rendering him even more menacing as his brown eyes gleamed in the darkness.

“We’ve seen what you can do”  
“you, locked yourself in a bunker to save your people, after bargaining for the life of thousands”  
He took a threatening stride towards her. “You, killed hundreds of people in mount weather”  
He began to shout as he took another step, eating up the distance between them and Clarke stood back against the wall, her stained cheeks splashed with salty tears.  
“You, left the man you LOVE to die in a fighting pit as you rescued your people, correction.... person”

The statement made Clarke stop dead, Did he just say love??


	10. the key

‘Bellamy this isn’t you”, her voice wavering, as she prayed it wasn’t true, and as she looked up she would make eye contact with the real Bellamy.

The man the you love.

Those words tossed and turned endlessly in her mind, even though she knew it wasn’t Bellamy talking, those words fit perfectly, slotting effortlessly into her heart like a piece of a lost jigsaw.

Clarke was so mesmerised by this thought that when she came to her senses, Bellamy was directly in front of her.  
So close it made the nerves on her face tingle, she could smell him, hear his rapid breathing and feel it blow cold against her face as he exhaled.

Clarke took a deep breath- she needed to focus.

’what have you done to Bellamy’ she said fighting to keep her voice steady, talking to whatever was controlling him.

‘Bellamy is just a memory’  
‘there is no need for him here, and no need for you after you answer my question’

A memory?? The lump in the throat tightened, and Clarke looked longly at Bellamy, shaking her head slowly.  
no, no what?  
A mess of confusion and adrenaline pulsing though her veins made it hard to focus on what he said next.

‘what do you know about the key’ 

‘what key?’ Clarke repeated slowly.

Bellamy wrapped his cold fingers around her collar, pulling it up to her cheeks 

‘wait I don’t understand’ Clarke yelled half screamed.

There was a moment of weightlessness before Clarke felt herself falling heavily through the air, landing on her back with a ear splitting crunch and she recoiled with the shock. 

She tried frantically to crawl away and escape his firm grasp but as her head span, her movements became more muffled and her hits slower. Bellamy was kneeling aggressively beside her still gripping her collar tightly as he shifted his weight to pin her down. 

‘Bellamy!’ She said warningly, the last thing Clarke wanted to do was hurt him but whoever.. whatever was controlling him, was unrelenting and showed no sign of stopping until Clarke couldn’t fight any longer.

‘the key....’  
‘WHAT IS IT WANHEDA’ he shouted as his face turned a blotchy red.

‘i ha- have no idea what your t-alking about’ she gritted out.

Bellamy began to force his fingers against her neck, almost as if he could rip out the answers himself. Clarke glanced around looking for anything she could use as rushing panic began to swell up inside of her and her vision blurred… they where going to kill her.

Suddenly she gave in, regret screaming loudly in her mind as she punched Bellamy square in the face.  
As her hand made contact with his cheek he fell to the side, sprawling across the floor clutching his cheek.

Clarke scrambled hurriedly to her feet, pushing herself up with her arms and twisting around to face Bellamy’s curled up figure.

Clarke had no idea what ‘the key’ was  
And even if she did, Clarke would never give it to them.  
Not after what they did to Bellamy.

Clarke winced as she sent another sharp kick in his direction, she time she caught him in the head and as Bellamy tried to fight back, Clarke rushed forward, skilfully disarming him as her foot connected with his knee cap. As Bellamy fell back his flailing arms attached themselves to her leg and in one swift motion, she was dragged down with him by his falling weight. 

Bellamy grabbed Clarkes hair, pulling her head sharply back and making her gasp for hair.

‘its been written in time for centuries, the mighty Wanheda’ the words dancing over his lips like some kind of joke.

‘we searched for 1000 years’  
‘just tell us the key’ Bellamy growled.

Clarke had no more words for him, no more excuses, no more information that she didn’t have. 

She takes advantage of Bellamy’s injured knee and Clarke swung her elbow back, meeting his leg once again and Bellamy hissed as the force sent him barrelling to the ground.

She punched him twice to disorientate, his strength over powering her but they must have forgotten who they are dealing with because as Bellamy struggled up for the last time. Clarke threw her weight into one last kick which sends him sprawling back until he lay on the ground motionless.  
Clarke watched as his head rolled around and he passed out. 

Clarke shuffled in the corner, scooting backwards across the floor, clutching her blooded fist in her right hand.

Just breathe Clarke.

She told her self over and as her chest rose and fell dramatically, she ran her fingers through hair as her hands shook. What had she done.

Clarke couldn’t do anything apart from stare at him.  
Mouth hanging open in shock tears broke away and raced down her face. 

What the hell did they do to Bellamy?

What was the key?

A stab of guilt hit Clarke square in the chest, the man she loved, he had said it so casually, the words rolling off his tongue like it was a well known fact- of course it was.  
It didn’t take a genius to figure out Clarke and Bellamy where stuck in a constant figure eight of almost I love you’s. 

Her eyes scanned his familiar body, his eyes fixed almost half closed and the faint dimples on his chin leading up to the scar perched just above his lip. 

Suddenly she noticed the pool of blood growing steadily around his wrist, Clarke took a double take, realising she had never done any damage to his arms or wrists.

Shakily she rose from her familiar position in the corner and crawled over to him. She gently turned over his arm and pushed up his new black sleeve. 

Clarke almost gagged at what she saw next, his asm was blooded and swelled and protruded from the centre of the swelling was a purple vile protected by a row of loose stitches.  
Clarke eases out the tube and held it up to the dim light, squinting to see what was inside. 

It looked like a note? 

She thread it carefully out of the vile and unrolled it, spreading it out on the floor.

She squinted to decipher the scribbled writing…

My name is Bellamy Blake  
I have a sister called Octavia Blake  
I am in love with Clarke Griffin

The disciples will use me to get to the key  
Keep your memories close  
Don’t give them what they want  
Get Clarke, make the jump off Bardo 

Clarke began to shake as she read the note over and over, scanning every detail, every scratch on the parchment.  
This wasn’t Bellamy’s hand writing, this is someone who knew what was going to happen to him.  
Someone that knew him, knew about Octavia and….

I am in love with Clarke Griffin

Her name had never felt so alien, but those words felt so right. Strung into a sentence she had willed herself to say over and over to him after every missed opportunity. 

Raw emotion rose up inside her, a mixture of love and loathing, a feeling that almost left a bitter sweet taste on her tongue as tears blurred her vision.  
He loved her.  
Bellamy Blake was in love with her.

A muted smile spread between her lips, pulling at muscles that hadn’t been used for longer than Clarke could remember.

It may not have been exactly him that said it but the words spoke out louder than ever.  
However the feeling was met with one of utter dread, how was she going to fix this. Pull whatever android was inside his head out of Bellamy.  
She owe it to him, after all those years of saving each other, not accepting the thought that they could even exist without each other.

The same applied here… Clarke was determined, more than ever, as she clutched the note to her chest like a new born baby and wiped the stray tears from her cheeks.

The man she loved was in danger...  
And she was going to get him back.


	11. they needed more time

It was a good as she could do, Clarke thought as she stepped back with hands placed on her hips, and admired her work.  
As carefully as she could, Clarke had tied Bellamy’s lucid figure behind the door with a few loose fibres from the cot.   
His chest rose and fell steadily but he was still out cold as he slumped back against the ropes. 

Clarke needed a way to make sure he was safe, until her and Raven could pull the thing out of his head, and shutting him in her cell seemed like as good as any.

Reluctantly, she tucked her hair shyly behind her ear, before turning her attention to the next task.

Get Raven and get to M-cap, she figured the room marked ‘memory capture’ would be a good place to start. 

Luckily, her and Raven has been detained in neighbouring cells, and Raven being Raven, had probably figured out a way to escape hers.  
Clarke tentatively clicked open the door to her cell, which had never been locked by the guards, they had probably presumed Bellamy would kill her, or bring her in unconscious. 

The silence hung all around her like dense fog as she stepped carefully out into the corridor, her footsteps sent small echoes which bounced off the wall like invisible bullets, making Clarke shiver. 

She took a few more paces before Clarke found herself in front of Ravens door. She rose up on her toes and saw Raven sitting, one leg crossed across the small white cot. Clarke let the welcome silence hang around her for a few seconds, not even daring to breathe, but then she raised her fist and tapped two gentle wraps onto the cold metal of the cell door.   
Raven’s head snapped up, eyes flaring with panic which melted away when she made eye contact with her friend. 

She looked so different in the white Bardo assigned uniforms, but it suited her, made her eyes glisten as she stared up at her.

Raven nodded silently as a smile twitched up the edges of her mouth and her sleek pony tail swinging as she walked over to the door.   
Clarke could feel her comforting warmth through the glass, and she watched Raven’s skilled hands work swiftly on the lock, before the door opened with a gentle click. 

Clarke didn’t wait for it to swing back naturally, but pushed it open and without even thinking, pulled Raven into a tight hug.

Raven stood there stunned for a few seconds, still registering the warmth of Clarkes body draped around her. But then she softly wrapped her arms around her shoulders, and pulled her even closer.

As Clarke buried her head into the soft fabric of raven’s shirt, she was over come with the realisation that she was not alone, no matter how isolated her thoughts became- trapped between the four walls of her cell a few hours before.   
Raven had been there (almost) since day 1, she may not be family, but Clarke was damn grateful to have her by her side. 

‘What happened?’ Raven whispered, her voice almost drowned Clarke’s hair. 

‘Bellamy… he- they- he tried to kill me-‘  
Clarke’s voice cracked as she ebbed out the words. 

‘WHAT!’   
Raven’s voice cut like a knife through the fragile air, and she pulled back, taking Clarke’s arms in her own and staring dead into her eyes.

‘no\- no it wasn’t him’ Clarke stammered, shaking her head in disbelief that those words would even form in her mouth.

‘Clarke?’ 

She took a moment to steady her thoughts.  
‘Raven.. we need to help him, the people here, they have control of him… he knows things- he, he wanted something.’

Raven squinted her eyes in confusion before Clarke continued.

‘He wanted to know ‘the key’… he wanted it desperately, like his life depended on it. And- and apparently, I know ‘the key’   
She began to rummage through one of the pockets in her white jumper. 

‘This was hidden in his arm’ she said as she unrolled the bloodstained note and forced it into Raven’s palm. 

The seconds passed torturously slow as Clarke watched Raven’s eyes fly over the words scratched into the delicate parchment.   
A smile cracked across her mouth and Clarke figured she got to the ominous   
‘i am in love with Clarke Griffin’.

‘i fuckin’ knew it’ she sniggers quietly under her breath, although Clarke can sense the aspect of long awaited relief from hearing the two of them finally admit thier feelings for each other. 

But then Raven’s expression turns cold and serious, smothering the brief moment of exhilaration that made Clarke’s heart leap.

Raven’s eyes rolled up to Clarke and locked onto the bright blue pained in hers. 

‘How do we do this?’ Her voice unwavering. 

——————————

Clarke let her self relish in the cool of the tiles against her back as she pressed her body up against them, craning her neck to peer around the wall and into ‘M-cap room’.

There where no sounds coming from the strange area, but Clarke had to make sure, as much as she wanted to tear the place apart looking for a way to help Bellamy, she had to do this the right way, play it safe. 

So far no one had noticed the two girls where out of their cells, but it was only a matter of time until one of the guards came to check on Bellamy, only to find him tied up and gagged in the corner of Clarke’s cell. 

‘All clear’ Clarke whispered before running cautiously into the lab? Hospital? Clarke didn’t really know what it was?

Pristine walls encased the room in a perfect circle, the stone walls arched upwards at the top meeting in the centre with a ring of glaring lights which burned Clarke’s eyes as diverted her gaze.   
There was one lonely chair in the exact centre of the room, like the room, it was pristine white, almost clinical apart from a small splash of red blood around the head of the chair, which had morphed into a maroon as it had dried in the cool air. 

Opposite the threatening chair, there was a blue hologram projected silently onto the wall. In the corner stood a small monitor which immediately caught Raven’s attention and she tore off towards it, skilfully unlocking it with a few subtle taps on the keyboard.  
Clarke shuffled over to the compact table beside the chair, silently pocketing a small knife- it was only a matter of time until the men in white found them again. 

She was beginning to think they should move on to a different room when Raven inhaled sharply. Her mouth forming a silent ‘O’.   
Clarke spun around to see what was wrong- then saw it, hundreds of images where spreading out on the hologram like spilled liquid. 

Images of her, pictures she knew to well…   
She watched in horror as they didn’t stop, piling onto of one each other and filing the screen corner to corner. 

‘Raven- what is this’ Clarke whispered, as she backed up away from the hologram.

Raven shook her head in disbelief… ‘they’re memories, of you-

-Bellamy’s memories’ Clarke finished her sentence, mouth hanging open in shock. 

She looked at them, thousands of little videos playing simultaneously on the screen, she saw herself in the bunker, pointing a gun at Bellamy, her hand shaking when she heard the spine chilling words.

You’re gonna have to make it a kill shot…

Clarke saw herself, the youth on her face practically radiating as she clung onto Bellamy’s wrist for dear life as she hung, suspended over a grounder trap.

She saw the long hair trailing down her back as she walked away from Arkadia, from him.

‘may we meet again’

She was frozen, over come with suppressed grief as she watched the pockets of time replay endlessly on the screen.  
But her trance was broken by Raven’s confident voice.

‘Hey!- I might be able to isolate the code from whatever they added, that makes him do whatever they want’ 

‘Do it’ Clarke’s firm voice echoed as she continued to stare at the mess of images.

The sound of Raven’s quick typing filled the room like the rhythm of a train crossing its tracks

‘Wait I can see him!’ She yelled over the aggressive typing.   
‘I can see his activity… Clarke!’

Clarke ran over to stand next to the monitor where Raven was situated. The brunette pointed her to a file, and sure enough there he was.   
The old Bellamy, curls playfully spilling across his face and fierce determination danced like flames in his eyes. Beside the photo were a collection of facts retaining his place of birth, blood type and family names.

To the left was a list of steadily flickering vitals that must be being transmitted live from Bellamy himself.   
Then below that was a jumble of code that only seemed to make sense to Raven, which was below a subtitle which read.

‘ **subject terminated, used for information retrieval on the key** ’. 

Clarke froze in fear as her ears hovered anxiously over the words ‘subject terminated’, a pit opening up in her stomach as she wondered if Bellamy was really gone. 

‘Bellamy’s mind is on here, on the computer, like the mind drives with you and Josephine… I think’

So that means we can get him back?’ Clarke said weakly.

‘Yeah, I just need to isolate the other code and then it will send an electrical impulse into whatever is monitoring his vitals, deleting it.’ 

Clarke didn’t quite know what that meant but the horrifically real memories of Josephine played out dramatically in her mind.  
And she prayed Bellamy wasn’t going through the same pain as they spoke. 

‘GOT IT’ Raven shouted, her voice ringing out with her success, drawing her cursor over a section of code.

‘Delete it’ Clarke said, keeping her voice as steady as she could as her eyes widened.  
But a voice in the back of her mind seemed to drown out these confident words   
Surely it cant be this easy… 

There was a moment of thick tension as Clarke watched Raven work.

please work, please work, come on

She willed as hard as she could, all Clarke wanted was to forget about all the trauma that she had induced over the past few hours and most of all, she just wanted her Bellamy back.

But then Raven pulled back, her shoulders falling in defeat and she let out a long exhale.  
‘DAMN IT’ she screamed, kicking the computer sharply with her foot.  
‘I can’t… its locked’ 

‘Well then- then do something…’ Clarke stuttered.  
‘Please!’ she begged, placing her hand reassuringly on Raven’s shoulder.

‘You can do this’ Clarke said. Watching as her friend let out a few shaky breaths and pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration.

‘i can- I just need to find a way around it, get past the fire wall- then i'll be able to isolate the inputted code’

Clarke nodded encouragingly. But then a clatter from the corridor made the two girls jump back. Clarke reaching for the knife she had hurriedly stuffed in her belt, not taking her eyes off of the door.

A small grunt and the sound of a person shuffling towards them made her freeze in panic. 

They needed more time. 

She didn’t even dare to breath, staying as still as she could but it was too late.   
She strained her ears as the sound closed in. 

Clarke saw his shadow first.

The ominous silhouette elongated across the white room drew their eyes and Clarke followed its path until he saw him, loose rope from the makeshift handcuffs still swinging from his wrist. His shoulders bristling in swollen anger and his head was tilted down but his eyes where sharp, alert and staring right at her.


	12. it felt so natural, like she was falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> okay so this is it!! 
> 
> I had so much fun writing this fic, hopefully you enjoy this last chapter!
> 
> your comments and kudos make me so happy <33

Clarke could barely feel her the rise and fall of her chest as she surveyed him.  
The tension in the air made her heart beat fit to burst. 

‘Bellamy you don’t have to do this’ she hummed in a low voice.

But it was too late.  
He was already running full speed towards her, arms pumping by his sides as he blew out his cheeks in concentration.

Without thinking Clarke threw herself in front of Raven, shielding her friend from the imminent attack.

They just needed a little more time. 

Bellamy barrelled into her, the impact sending them both sliding across the floor. Clarke’s arm arched frantically back into her belt, pulling out the knife that glinted easily in the white light.  
It was like the red sun all over again. 

‘CLARKE’ she heard Raven yell as she looked up to see Bellamy push up from the floor and lunge for her again.  
She rolled out of the way just in time as he flew past her.

‘Keep going Raven’ Clarke gasped ,the tone of her voice almost pleading as she twirled the knife in her fingers. 

She just had to keep Bellamy at bay until Raven could find the kill switch. 

The pair ran at each other again, Bellamy fighting to kill, Clarke to defend. 

They toppled through the hologram, the sharp blue light dazzling them both for a second. 

Clarke ducked as Bellamy swung the first punch, catching the second and bending his wrist back enough to make him groan with discomfort.

Bellamy struggled to free himself from her grip as she punched him again. Grimacing as her hand connected with his teeth. 

‘i’m almost there!’ she heard a distant Raven yell over her audible typing.  
Clarke looked up to find her, disoriented, as Raven’s voice echoed around the room like a car on a race track. 

She was so disorientated that didn’t notice Bellamy’s hand brush past hers, sending a waterfall of shivers across her body, and skilfully snatch the knife from her grasp. 

There was a moment of frozen fear when she felt it, practised hands that had performed that fluid action many times back on earth. 

Bellamy looked practically evil now, beads of sweat bursting from his hairline as a devilish smile danced across his lips, he brandished the knife comfortably in his hand. 

Clarke scrambled awkwardly up from her crouched position on the floor.  
Her eyes widening in horror as she watched Bellamy’s arm shoot out towards her, the glint of the knife in her peripheral. 

She was saved by her reflexes, hurriedly snatching her left arm up to meet his in a perfect X shape. 

But the force of Bellamy’s momentum sent her arm jerking to the right and Clarke gasped as she felt the sharp metal graze her skin. 

It sent a cold shudder ricocheting across her body and she slapped her palm over the wound, staring at her hand as it came away painted dark red. 

She felt Bellamy send a sharp kick into her thighs which sent her stumbling across the room and smashing into the unyielding wall, still memorised on the thick blood pooling in her palm.

Clarke looked up just in time to see an infuriated Bellamy barreling towards her, she squeezed her eyes shut, exhaustion starting to break through as she braced for the incoming impact. 

She froze, the anticipation building up inside of her.

But the over powering force never came, she remained against the wall clutching her arm. Clarke opened one eye, carefully scanning the room for Bellamy but what she saw next sent a deeper stab of dread straight through her.

Blocking the same door where Bellamy had first appeared where 5, heavily armed soldiers, the same ones that she had met earlier as her and raven had stormed the building. They where dressed head to foot in grey, and their armoured suits glinted menacingly in the light.

‘CLARKE GRIFFIN’  
She whipped around pulling her gaze away from the soldiers, searching for the source of the unknown voice.

‘Clarke we have to go” the voice said again, her eyes followed it and she saw man dressed in white from head to foot. His dark brown hair styled nearly back across his head which almost reflected the harsh light as he ran towards her, arm outstretched ready to grab her.

Clarke shuffled back, desperately searching for a way of escape between the guards at the door who seemed to be setting up some sort of weapon, Bellamy who had to be hiding somewhere in the room, and the man in white running directly for her.

She darted to the left, trying to cut around him but the man was too quick grabbing on to her wrist and pulling her level with his face.

‘Clarke listen to me… we have to get you out of here’

‘Why are you helping me?’

Her eyes flared with panic, almost electrified by his touch.

‘It’s a long story’ the man said with a small smile spread across his lips but still maintaining his serious tone, the light reflecting playfully on his glasses. 

‘You can call me Levitt, now we need to go!’

She looked frantically between Levitt and the soldiers. 

They where building something… and still no sign of Bellamy. 

Clarke didn’t really have time to argue, she needed a way out, and this was it.

‘RAVEN’ she screamed across the room as Levitt lead the way, almost dragging Clarke as quick as he could across the space.

The ends of her friends hair had started to curl upwards, forming a sort of mane which framed her manic expression.

A flash of relief surged through Clarke as she saw her Raven abandon the computer, noticing the soldiers had almost finished working with whatever they where building, some of the men being hurriedly sent away.

It looked like a canon, a small rocket launcher… whatever it was it was not good news for them.

They had to get out before someone got hurt.

Clarke spun around, picking up the pace almost overtaking Levitt and sprinting towards the door.  
The air rushed past her face and she reached back and clasping Raven’s hand tight in her own, pulling her along.

The sound of their thundering footsteps filled her ears, and Clarke could barely hear Levitt shout something indistinguishable over the noise.

The door.  
It was close now, she thought as Clarke closed the distance over the impossibly large room, trying to steady her rapid breathing.

As she ran her eyes desperately scanned the room for him, for Bellamy. As she prayed he had made it out already. Regret already choking her as she thought leaving him.

If she was out of the room maybe they wouldn’t fire their weapon, they wanted her.  
And no one else was going to die because of her.

‘fire in 3…’ she heard the soldiers shout. 

‘GO, GO, GO’ Levitt shouted at the top of his lungs.  
Clarke couldn’t feel anything apart from the adrenaline pumping through her veins… they where so close.

But her heart was burning for Bellamy, glancing one last time over her shoulder,. Hoping to see him running right beside her.

Where the hell did he g-

There was a defending crack and a fist of oranges flames punched its way into the path of the desperate runners.  
Clarke didn’t even have time to finish her thought before the smoke consumed her.  
The tips of hungry flames licking her body.

The seconds seemed to pass at lighting speed and slow motion all at once.  
Clarke was still running, but she was slipping, falling as the ringing her ears grew louder.

She felt a rush of hot air blow against her, knocking her legs out from beneath her, sending Clarke sprawling onto the tiles.  
Her head span uncontrollably, and an ache spread through her brain like cold water. 

Her lips parted in shock, letting out a low groan.  
The ringing in her ears was almost deafening now, making her spine curl up and her hands rushed to cover her ears in an effort to make it stop. 

Clarke lay motionless for a few seconds before raising her heavy head from the tiles, the room around her was destroyed, the lights flickered threateningly as they hung disjointedly from the ceiling, parts of the wall and floor where scattered across the room and grey dust rose from the ground like bubbles in a drink.

She lay there in shock, mouth hanging open like a fish gulping for air, trying to process what just happened.  
The awkward stillness of the eradicated room now resembling the relentless squeal in her eardrums.

She turned her head slowly, looking for Raven and Levitt, hoping they had made it out in time.

Then Clarke felt the grip of a cold hand tugging on her shoulder.  
She peered up, her vision swimming as two pictures over lapped and taunted her as she tried to re-focus her eyes.

The words reached her first.  
‘Clarke.. Clarke we need to move’  
It was Levitt.

She nodded slowly and held onto his arm for balance, pushing herself up to standing.  
Raven jumped to her other side, swinging her arm across her shoulders to take the weight.

The soldiers had gone, leaving no trace apart from a few of their guns strewn across the floor. Nonetheless, the three of them still stumbled the last few meters to the door. Clarke still gasping at the air, trying to catch her breath.

All of a sudden familiar cry pierced the air, rising up to greet Clarke’s ears from a few meters away, the hairs on her arms prickling as her head snapped round towards the sound. 

Then she saw him.

’Bellamy’ her lips mouth his name but no sound escaped.

He was lying spread eagled on the concrete, his face contorted in pain and frustration, his hands fumbling to get a grip on a long strip of metal which lay across his hips.

His body was trapped, pinned down under the weight of a thick metal beam which had evidently fallen from the ceiling, almost crushing him.  
His hair was matted with thick blood, pooling from a deep gash in his forehead and his whole body was lathered in dust as he lay in the pool of rubble.

The sight made her knees cave, and she stumbled forward, breaking away from Levitt and Raven.

‘i cant leave him’ her voice broke as cried out.

She heard Levitt shout and Raven cry out hysterically for her to come back but she didn’t care.  
She felt the fleeting touches of their hands on her back, trying to reel her in, but Clarke pushed forward, regaining her balance and rushing forward with a sudden burst of energy.

She skidded onto her knees, crouching down beside Bellamy who was struggling and panting in exhaustion. Digging herself down in between the sharp slabs of rubble decorating the floors. 

‘heyMaybe Raven had had enough time to destroy the code after all?

‘Bellamy it’s me’ she whispered eagerly into the silence.

His head shot to the side like an animal, bloodshot eyes staring angrily at her.

Clarke’s heart plummeted like a stone into water, and she took a deep breath, trying to ease the burning anxiety building in her stomach.

She reached her hand out towards him, a peace offering.

Bellamy stared at it longingly, his eyes quietly tracing the pale skin on her fingers as he sat perfectly still.  
She watched as his eyes wandered up her body and then set on her face. 

They looked at each other.

Clarke was so confused, the tension almost unbearable and the only thing she could hear was her own heart beat threatening to fight its way out of her chest.

Maybe Raven’s code had flipped something inside of him?  
Maybe he didn’t want to hurt her anymore…  
maybe he was too exhausted to fight, maybe he was safe.

Just as she began to think it was okay, that Bellamy was free from the mind control, he jumped up.  
Feet thudding heavily onto the tiles.

The weight of his body making the ground underneath them shake.  
He towered over her.

And in one frighteningly quick movement, Clarke watched in horror as he swiped one of the guns off of the floor and launched himself at her.

Clarke jumped forward to meet him, she had to end this now.

They collided in thin air, their bodies almost poetically catching eachother before flying towards the floor. 

Clarke hit the ground first, letting out a sharp gasp as she rebounded against the concrete. 

And then Bellamy was on top of her.

Pushing her shoulders forcefully against the ground, planting his legs on either side of her body and using his weight to pin her down and leaving no room to struggle.

There was no emotion in his eyes, just pure, uninterrupted strength. 

Panic took over Clarke, she was going to get her best friend back, even if she had to die trying.

‘Bellamy it’s me… its Clarke’ she said, desperately trying to reach him. 

He shook his head violently like he was trying to forget what she said, trying to disassociate himself with that name.

‘this is the end Wanheda’ he snarled, pressings his legs deeper against her as he loaded the clip into the gun with a spine chilling click. 

‘Bellamy you have to fight it’ she gritted out, the determination set Hard in her voice.

This is not how it was going to end.

He ignored her, keeping his eyes elevated to avoid looking down at the struggling girl.

She watched in horror, chest rising and falling rapidly, as Bellamy tossed the gun into his right hand. Playing with tits weight and adjusting his grip on the new weapon.

‘i need you’

Clarke was pleading with him now, staring into his soul as if she could coax him back.

‘you’re a fighter…

she cried, echoing the words he had sobbed over her dying body just weeks before.  
Tears clouding the corners of her eyes so all that was in focus was the cold silhouette of Bellamy.

He took a deep breath and pressed the gun against her skull, staring sickeningly at the writing blonde. 

The shock cold metal sending a ripple of biting discomfort down Clarke’s spine.

…now get up, and fight!!’ 

Clarke was yelling now, wrestling under the weight of the gun, tears now falling freely out the corners of her eyes. Her face flushed with crimson panic.

‘Please…’ she whispered, her voice braking.

Bellamy’s arm was steady, his dark eyes focused.  
But his hand shook violently.  
Like he was trying to resist it and pull up against his own will.

Was she getting through to him?

‘please I can’t loose you’ 

Clarke whimpered.  
Bellamy almost looked in pain now, the shaking had spread up his arm and his temple creased, exposing a throbbing vain.  
His face contorted an agonising contrast of rage and agony.

The splintering cold of the gun metal made her head spin, she couldn’t breathe.

‘Bellamy please, you don’t wanna do this’

Her mind raced,

this was it, she was gonna die… he was going to kill her

Clarke closed her eyes and waited for the pain, the inevitable gun shot. Her whole life flashed madly before her eyes but one clear sentence formed on her tongue.

8 letters, 3 words that lay in chains.

if she was gonna die, if this was the last chance she was ever gonna get…

’please, i love you’.

It was as if the gun had fired.  
Everything suddenly fell quiet, into a deep uneasy silence filled with anticipation and the sound of Bellamy and Clarke’s spluttering breaths, their panting harmonising perfectly and time seemed to stretch, expanding until all Clarke could feel was Bellamy.

Clarke stared helplessly up at him, her words decorating the air around them like piercing crystal shards. 

Bellamy suddenly retracted, jolting back as his shoulders curved back subtly relaxing. 

Through her hazy vision Clarke saw intense anger in his eyes melt away to reveal the soft chocolate brown.  
Clarke didn’t dare blink, watching Bellamy’s chest rise and fall rapidly like a ticking time bomb. The loose curls brushed back behind his ears began to flop forward over his eyes as he knelt over her. 

Colours started to creep back into his cheeks, illuminating his freckles one by one like a sunset and Clarke watched as his lips parted in shock.

The pistol fell from his hand and clattered onto the ground.

‘Clarke?’ He whispered softly, the word floating past his lips like it was the first time he had ever spoken it, his eyes growing bigger as he took her in.

‘Bellamy’ she sobbed quietly in response, not quite believing it was really him.

But as she met his eyes, the panic growing in them shattered her heart, and she knew.

Clarke pushed herself off of the biting concrete and flung her arms around his neck. Her momentum sending them crashing backwards, their bodies untangled but she pulled him closer.

And this time his arms cushioned her she flew into them, her sobs escaping freely into his chest. Clarke rang the loose curls falling from the back his head comfortingly through her fingers as a small smile crept across her lips.

She pulled back gently and took his jaw in her hand.  
Tears of relief streaming down her face and dripping into her lap.

‘you’re okay, you’re okay’ she breathed out, drawing small circles with her fingers on his cheeks. 

Bellamy stuttered helplessly, letters and words falling apart as he tried to speak.

But Clarke only held him tighter burying her head into the familiar crevice between his shoulder and neck. 

‘i’m so sorry Clarke’ he finally croaked through staggered breaths, his voice ruined. 

‘it’s okay… you’re okay’ she cooed quietly, stroking his hair.

Clarke felt suffocated by relief, like the bands that wound her heart had been suddenly released. 

Bellamy was safe, he was alive, he was okay.

Clarke relished in the contentment that came hand in hand with these thoughts, and she gazed around the room. From her vantage point in Bellamy’s shoulder with his curls obscuring half of her face, all she could see was destruction, the thick dust still slowly rising.

The sound of him whimpering hauled Clarke back to the moment. 

Bellamy was crying too, his chin trembled as he tried to hold his tears in, to keep up his fortress of solitude but he was crushed under the weight of realisation.  
What he had done, but not how he had done it. 

Bellamy sat there motionless, frozen, holding Clarke like he would never let go, his fingers pressing into her back for stability, like she was the only thing keeping him from falling.  
The sat for what felt like hours, legs intwined uncomfortably, but the feeling of true safety over powering any sense of discomfort, as they held each other.

‘You said you loved me’ he finally whispered quietly.

Clarke froze, almost as if someone had cut the blood supply to her brain, she couldn’t think, finding herself drowning in overwhelming guilt. Wishing they could just share one moment of intimacy not at the point of a gun… but she wouldn’t take it back, not for anything in the world.

Clarke let go, he cheeks blushing fiery red.  
Breaking away from his firm grasp and nodded, shyly looking down at the floor which was now pattered with a mixture shards of glass and ruble.

There was a long moment of utter tranquility, filled with raw, unprotected emotion as Clarke’s heart fluttered anxiously, waiting for his response.  
He finally shattered the silence.

‘I love you too’

That was all the validation she needed, her head rising to look back up into the comforting honey of his eyes.  
Her smile lit up her cheeks, Bellamy had never looked at her like that before, yet it felt like home, the cherished moments they’d shared through fleeting glances consumed with longing.

His eye’s grew wide, curious and she could feel the vibrations of his heart pumping, furiously accelerating as they looked at each other, swimming in the deep satisfaction of the pooling words.

His face was so close to hers and the sudden intimacy crashed over her like an icy wave.  
The air around the grew thick and time seemed to grind to a gradual hault, their eyes locked.  
This close she could see every detail, every scar, every pimple. Every scratch just another brick in his walls, telling his story, everything that made him Bellamy. 

Everything that she loved.

Suddenly Bellamy surged forward, soft lips crashing onto hers.

And Clarke forgot how to breathe, absorbing his warmth and the exhilarating feeling of his lips on hers washed over her as she kissed back.

Her hand crawled up to meet his cheek, caressing it and pulling him even closer to her.  
This was all she ever wanted.

He surged through her, kissing her again and Clarke felt weightless.  
Sparks of electricity burned through her in a lowly rhythm her as she felt his hand reach out, taking her wrist as he leaned into her more.

It felt so natural, like she was falling.

Clarke kissed back harder, her finger reaching up to trace the outline of his lips.  
She could taste him, and it matched the milky treacle of his eyes but even more unforgivingly natural.

Clarke let out a gasp as it mixed with the metallic taste of blood splattered across his supple lips.  
She kissed it away, focussing on the touch of Bellamy’s hand which trailed up her spine making Clarke shiver as she felt the slight pressure of his fingers sit in the dimples on her back. 

Their noses bumped gently and she fluttered her eyelashes.  
Still struggling to believe this was real as she fell into him more. 

It felt so right, so desperately perfect as they clung onto the moment, a moment of true happiness that filled Clarke up, pure emotion brimming at her eyes. 

She softly pulled back, falling onto his lips till the last second, relishing in the raw intimacy. 

The shy smile she wore minutes ago had morphed into a toothy grin which she didn’t even try to hide, and a playful giggle escaped from her lips.  
‘Thank you’ she pushed forward and whispered softly into his ear.

Bellamy pressed his forehead against hers not wanting to let go, his hand rushing up to steady her as he ran his fingers along her jaw bone. 

They sat, heads together, eyes closed, breathing in each others air. 

Clarke had never felt this safe in her life, as sat crossed legged her forehead draped in Bellamy’s wild curls, he was practically radiating with happiness, and so was she.  
‘i’ll never stop loving you princess’ he whispered.

Clarke’s smile grew even wider as she let out another giggle.  
‘i love you so much’ she replied, fingers rubbing softly against his neck.

‘Lets go home’ Bellamy eventually said, gently extending his hand towards her as he slowly stood up.

Home… she wondered distantly to herself, that felt like a desolate place, they’d never been safe anywhere, but with each other. 

He was her home. 

Clarke laced her fingers delicately through his, pulling herself up using his weight to guide her. 

Bellamy proudly wore a matching grin, as he pushed the remaining curls out of his eyes, his face blushing profusely as she gazed up at him.

Her eyes once again sunk into the swirling chocolate of his and without even a hint of hesitation Clarke confidently answered.

‘Together’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!
> 
> now it's up to Jason to deliver our endgame... 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this and it filled your s7 bellarke void slightly <3


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